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Actual Labels on consumer goods

     
     In case you needed further proof that the human
     race is doomed through stupidity, here are some
     actual label instructions on consumer goods.

     1. On Sears hairdryer:  "Do not use while sleeping".
     (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

     2. On a bag of Fritos:  "You could be winner!  No
     purchase necessary.Details inside". (Evidently,
     the shoplifter special)

     3. On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions: Use like
     regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?)

     4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving
     suggestions: Defrost."
     (But it's *just* a suggestion)

     5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom
     of box)  "Do not turn upside down".
     (Oops, too late!)

     6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product
     will be hot after heating".
     (As night follows the day . . . .)

     7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:  "Do not iron
     clothes on body".
     (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

     8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:  "Do not
     drive a car or operate machinery after taking
     this medication".
     (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
     construction accidents if we could just get
     those 5-year-olds with colds off those
     forklifts.)

     9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning: May cause
     drowsiness". (One would hope)

     10. On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For
     indoor or outdoor use only".
     (As opposed to what?)

     11. On a Japanese food processor:  "Not to be
     used for the other use".
     (I gotta admit, I'm curious).

     12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:  "Warning: Contains nuts".
     (NEWS FLASH,Hello!)

     13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
     Instructions: Open packet,eat nuts."
     (Step 3: Fly Delta).

     14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of
     this garment does not enable you to fly".
     (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for
     this one).

     15. On a Swedish chain saw:  "Do not attempt to
     stop chain with your hands or genitals".
     (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?) >>