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Translations for Modern Life

From Rodney Lee's Comedy List

Old world charm ................ No bath
Tropical ....................... Rainy, humid, mosquito-infested area
Majestic setting ............... Dilapidated colonial farm-house
Secluded hideaway .............. Impossible to find or get to
Pre-registered rooms ........... Already occupied
Explore on your own .............Explore at your own risk
Knowledgeable trip hosts ....... They've driven a car before
No extra fees .................. No extras
Nominal fee .................... Outrageous charges
Standard ....................... Sub-standard
Deluxe ......................... Standard
Superior ....................... One free shower cap
Cozy ........................... Small rooms with peeling wallpaper
All the amenities .............. Two free shower caps
Plush .......................... Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes ................. Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ................. No air conditioning
Picturesque .................... Noisy Theme park nearby
Open bar ....................... Free ice cubes
Concierge ...................... Stand with tourist brochures
Free Continental breakfast ..... One free muffin