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A few thoughts on marriage

   You know what I did before I married?
   Anything I wanted to.
                       -- Henny Youngman

   The best way to get most husbands to do something is to
   suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
                         -- Ann Bancroft

  Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
                              --Benjamin Franklin

  My wife dresses to kill.  She cooks the same way.
                          -- Henny Youngman

   My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.
                           -- Rodney Dangerfield

   A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
                           -- Milton Berle

  I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
                         -- George Burns

  What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About
  30 pounds.
                                            -- Cindy Garner

  When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping.
  Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
                  -- Elaine Boosler

  Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
                                  -- Phyllis Diller

  The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
                                     -- Henny Youngman