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Useful Expressions for those HIGH STRESS days

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

Do I look like a fucking people person?

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.