About me

Contact me

My research




Quote for the Day


You've come to Doug Aberdeen's old pages. In 5 seconds you will taken to my new pages http://sml.nicta.com.au/~daa/

Comprehending Engineers

Comprehending Engineers, --Take One
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey,  here comes the greenkeeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
aren't they?"
The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a  group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.  The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think
I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea.  And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for  them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Two
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
mechanical.  After serving his company loyally for over 30 years,  he
happily retired.
Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly
impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to
no avail.  In desperation, they called on the  retired engineer who had
solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took
the challenge.  He spent a day studying the huge machine.  At the end of the
day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine
and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company
received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded
an itemised accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark  $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

The views and opinions expressed on this web page are not necessarily those of NICTA or the Australian National University. Any HTML or image from this page may be copied and re-used freely but must not be sold.
Feedback:Doug.Aberdeen AT anu.edu.au