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A Guide to Effective Scientific Communication

We have all heard lacturers say these phrases, and have often been frustrated by them. With the aid of this translation table though, the truth is revealed and we can be comforted by it! I am not sure who the author is. Thanks to Chris for forwarding it to me.
 Phrase                         Translation
 =================================================================
 It has long been known         I haven't bothered to look up the
                                reference

 It is believed                 I think

 It is generally believed       A couple of other guys think so too

 It is not unreasonable to      If you believe this, you'll believe
 assume                         anything

 Of great theoretical           I find it kind of interesting
 importance

 Of great practical importance  I can get some mileage out of it

 Typical results are shown      The best results are shown

 3 samples were chosen for      The others didn't make sense, so
 further study                  we ignored them

 The 4 hour sample was not      I dropped it on the floor
 studied

 The 4 hour determination may   I dropped it on the floor, but
 not be significant             scooped most of it up

 The significance of these      Look at the pretty artifact
 results is unclear

 It has not been possible to    The experiment was negative, but
 provide definitive answers     at least I can publish the data
                                somewhere

 Correct within an order of     Wrong
 magnitude

 It might be argued that        I have such a good answer for this
                                objection that I shall now raise it

 Much additional work will be   This paper is not very good, but
 required                       neither are all the others in this
                                miserable field

 These investigations proved    My grant is going to be renewed
 highly rewarding

 I thank X for assistance       X did the experiment and Y explained
 with the experiments and       it to me
 Y for useful discussions
 on the interperetation of
 the data


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