whereas
        logic is the essence of philosophy, and
        logic is the organon of philosophy, and
        logic is the form of philosophy
and
whereas

        coaches, assistant coaches, managers, trainers and fans
                of the IU philosophy team have
        made frequent and insinuating remarks about the number of
                logicians recruited for this year's philosophy team,
        have discouraged the recruitment of outstanding out-of-state
                prospects solely on the ground that they are logicians,
        have refused to recognize the right of logicians to their
                own unique cultural heritage, acquiescing in particular in
                the denial to them of such treasured items as blackboards,
                erasers, chalk, and old napkins,
        performed acts degrading to logicians as human beings,
        performed acts degrading to logicians as individuals,
        performed acts degrading to logicians as men,
        performed acts degrading to logicians as manifestations of God,
                collections of atoms, free spirits,

THE EFFECT OF WHICH HAS BEEN

        misery, suffering, pain, affliction, and one severe case of
                philosopher's foot,

We the members of

                THE LOGICIANS LIBERATION LEAGUE

        do hereby announce our intention, if attention to our fair
                grievances is not forthcoming,
        to boycott Friday practice sessions,
        to howl and jeer when the name of an ethicist, metaphysician,
                epistemologist, aesthetician, or any other kind of
                Establishment jerk is proposed for addition to the team,
        to root for the political science department in competition
                for the coveted Ewing Bowl,
        to reveal that other members of the team are mere symbol
                pushers and hawkers of uninterpretable calculi,
        to prove the existence of God, the relativity of moral judgments,
                the identity thesis, and the truth of neo-Pythagorean
                skeptical hedonism, thus leaving other members of the
                team with nothing to talk about.

        Do not be deceived, Establishment pigs (this means you too,
                Establishment dogs). The subservience of past generations
                of logicians does not mean that we shall bear forever our
                treatment as animals (you barnyard fowl). We are human
                beings (you swine). You are living in a day when logicians
                will not any longer endure your taunts, your slurs, your
                insults (you filthy vermin). In the name of A. N. Whitehead
                and B. Russell we gather; in the spirit of R. Carnap and
                A. Tarski, we march; by the word of W. V. O. Quine, we shall
                prevail. Beware you snakes of the Philosophical Power
                Structure, which you have created and which you maintain to
                put down the logician; you have caged the eagle of reason,
                the dove of wisdom, and the lark of a definite, precisely
                formulated formal system, with exact formation rules, a
                recursive set of axioms, and clear and cogent rules of
                inference, and you have made them your pigeons. Oh, you
                filterable viruses, we will shake you off and fly once more.

All my love,
Robert K. Meyer
Maximum Leader
Logicians Liberation League