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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the
road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own
preservation.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history.  An historic, unprecedented avian
biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Thomas Dequincy: Because it ran out of opium.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted
the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of
which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which,
thank goodness, are good, dahling.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was
on, but it was moving very fast.

Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the
road.

John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken?  He's into that
kind of thing, you know.

Groucho Marx: Chicken?  What's all this talk about chicken?  Why, I had an
uncle who thought he was a chicken.  My aunt almost divorced him, but we
needed the eggs.

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Gregor Mendel: To get various strains of roads.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in
motion tend to cross the road.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to.  That's the (censored)
reason.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on the other side of the road.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah
canna work miracles, Captain!

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative.

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out
of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776.
But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the
duration.

Ayn Rand: It was crossing the road *because of its own rational choice to
do so* There cannot be a collective unconscious; desires are unique to
each individual.

James Joyce: Once upon a time a nicens little chicken named baby tuckoo
crossed the road and met a moocow coming down...

James Joyce: To forge in the smithy of its soul the uncreated conscience
of its race.

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If
not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost. The
chicken would be lost!   (sing that one)